A dream come true?
Why We’re Having a Third BabyNumber 3 wasn’t exactly part of the plan…
But we’ve never much stuck to any plan to be quite honest. After our first, I started to casually wonder: does pouring all your love into one child come with unintended pressure? Would she feel smothered? Would we end up competing for her attention? Regardless, we were pregnant within 12 weeks of her birth and that was that.
Off we go 2 under 2.
From calm to chaos
One easy baby is heavenly. Two under two? A blur.
We lived in a sleepless loop of doctors’ appointments, reflux, logistics—and for me—crippling anxiety. We were annihilated.
But at 8 months when the reflux and screams subsided, I felt a deep sadness. Like I wasn’t done meeting my children. I’d like to think of it as evolution doing it’s powerful thing, I suppose.
Why three?
I’m one of three girls. Leon is one of eight.
Maybe we were wired to want more.
My sisters are in almost every meaningful childhood memory I have. Together, we were a forcefield against all things painful—our parents, school bullies, bad boyfriends. And when we make the time, we still are.
Loving them taught me how to love beyond myself.
Once, when my twin had her heart broken, I skipped a flight and a big job to stay with her. And it felt… better than success. To show up that fully for someone.
Will the chaos kill our relationship?
Of course I worry.
Will three push us past our limits? Will we spend the best of each other on logistics and nutritious packed lunches, then find some physical and or emotional solace in a saviour who lives 4 doors down?
I am terrified for 30 seconds—then purchase an intimacy course online and write down some couples therapists in the area. Motherhood teaches solution bias if nothing much else. I sleep soundly afterwards and In my dream I see a loud, happy house. Friends coming and going. Hearty Christmasses. Sleepovers. Partners. Maybe—eventually—even grandchildren. Then a mysterious figure appears, beloved, valued and respected by us all, they hold the key to our ongoing family happiness. A very well paid cleaner.
This is my dream, and in the morning I’ll tell Leon about it, hoping that it will come true.
